“Why did I do this? Why’d I even bother?”, I thought to myself as I stood before my under decorated holiday tree. “I should never have opened the box! I have no time for this! It was bad enough that my car was dying, wouldn’t pass inspection and I had to buy a new car right before Solstice. Now, I have to deal with packing up a holiday tree.”

“Well, luckily, I found “Enki II” right away”, I said, as I turned away from the tree to sit on the red couch.

Resting my face in my hands, I stared listlessly at my barren holiday tree. “This whole situation was like having a flashback. It reminds me of being forced to buy a new car at Yuletide back in 2009.” My faithful, silver car, Enki, now referred to as “Enki I”, and I paired up the day after Christmas 2009.

I have to say part of my ambivalence around the holidays is that there’s been so much upheaval in my life recently. I know the cosmic energies are pushing us all in a new direction but truly interesting things like the end of my allergies which mysteriously arrived on the scene ten years ago, my work changing in a totally new direction, and now “Enki, The Next Generation” with payments! It just seems too much to take in.

Just then, I saw a flash of movement out of the corner of my eye. Oh, pu-lease, not this again!, I thought. I have enough trouble with my eyes these days. Flashes of light means another visit to the eye doctor. “Hey!” It happened again. “It’s something solid. I hope it’s not that bunny Eostre lost back in the spring. December’s not a good time for bunnies in New York!”

“YOO HOO!”, I called. “Blue-gray creature! Come out!” I got off the couch to look under it. “Where’d you go? What are you? Why are you here?”

“UGH!!!!”, I threw up my hands. “I have no time for this! I’m sick. I have a sinus infection. I’m tired. I’m grumpy. I have no food in the house, and I just don’t have the energy to hunt down blue-gray creatures that hide under my couch or to decorate my holiday tree.”

I sink into the couch and look up to the top of my tree where I’ve placed its only decoration, Grandpa’s Star. Maybe that’s enough. Who needs a fully decorated tree anyway? How did I let my mother talk me into buying another tree after Grandma’s old tree fell apart? Did it really matter that it was on sale at the home improvement store where I bought my fireplace? No. Did I need a tree? No. Do I have space to store it? No. What would Marie Kondo say? No!!! Then why did I buy it?

So you could honor the beauty of your life, my dear.

“Oh, my goodness! I mean, Goddess! I mean lovely to see you, Goddess. Although, I do wish you’d all stop sneaking up on me.”

Sneaking up on you, Dear. Whatever are you talking about? I’m right here. Granted, it is the longest night of the year but you can see me gorgeous as in daylight. Is your eye sight failing, Dear? I know you just went to see your eye doctor. Is everything, ok?

“Yes, Goddess. Everything is fine. My eyes are holding steady for now and you are looking dazzling as always! I smile and wonder what she’d think if I told her she always appears to me as a vision of Elizabeth Taylor in a White Diamonds perfume commercial!”

I’m so glad to hear that, sweetheart.

“What brings you here, Freya?”

Why you, of course, Dear One, and your sulky attitude about Solstice and the other fabulous light celebrating holidays this time of year. Hannukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa and then, my personal favorite, the grand party and spectacle of New Year’s Eve!

“I’ve already done my part for the holidays, Goddess. I went to Boston for three days and came back to jump right in and play for my students at the Holiday Recital. Last week, I attended a magnificent holiday cabaret and sang in two holiday concerts myself!”

Yes, and you looked stunning, my dear! I meant to compliment you on that. Truly, you were a glamorous vision not to mention the addition of your lush, spellbinding voice. You made me so proud!

“Thank you, Goddess. I’m glad you were pleased with me for once.”

Dahlink, I’m always pleased with you. Yes, you’ve been a bit frumpy and grumpy lately but we all have charms to overcome such occasions. Life isn’t all bubbly and cheer. I know that better than most.

“Yes, Goddess, I know. It’s just been so stressful lately. Allergies, no allergies, and trying new foods again, sometimes with less than stellar results. Enki dying. Thanksgiving, trips to Boston and Connecticut for work. It’s been all consuming. Enki II and I have been together for a week and traveled over 160 miles. I can barely park her properly and have had to take her on two ferries and drive on unfamiliar highways in a snow squall and ice storm! Don’t even get me started on all the bells and whistles!”

Oh, I’m so glad the two of you have bonded. It was my great hope that you would find a vehicle you could bond with. I was afraid that you wouldn’t take to a new car now that Enki I has passed on.

“It’s all been exhausting and I just want to hibernate!”

That’s not an unusual feeling for Solstice, Dear. It is the longest night of the year, you know. I understand you’ve been battling a sinus cold, that’s run of the mill this time of year. However, you, My Dear, are not run of the mill. You are a Daughter of Freya, born on a Friday in the month of June. Start acting like it!

I don’t want to hear any talk of staying in this year. You need to get out and enjoy yourself! All this hard work must bring some reward otherwise it’s just work for work sake and that is unacceptable! Get dressed up! Go dancing! Have some sparkling cider! You have a number of admirers. Choose one to bestow the pleasure of your company upon and have some fun!

“I just don’t feel like it, Freya. I’ve felt so alone these last few weeks.”

Now I know you’re sick, Kathleen, because you’re delirious! Alone? YOU, Daughter, are far from alone. You have mortal friends who have championed you through your latest escapades with allergy and car issues. You have siblings who gave you advice. You have a father who took Enki I to be examined! You have your neighbor, the cute landscaper, who called his friend at the car dealership! The stars aligned so that a friend of yours now works at the car dealership! Your father went with you to the car dealership! And, the salesman was the same gent who sold your father his car! Did you think this was all coincidental?

“It was pretty amazing!”

Yes, it was almost goddess-like in terms of timing wasn’t it?

“Uh, yes, Goddess.”

And on what day did you go car shopping, Kathleen?

“Friday, Goddess.”

Ah-ha, Friday. And not just any Friday was it, Kathleen?

“No, Goddess, not just any Friday.”

What Friday was it, Kathleen?

“Friday, the 13th of December, Goddess.”

Ah, Friday, the 13th, and you drove through a snow squall and an ice storm when you can barely set the car within the spacing lines in a parking lot! What does all of this tell you, Kathleen?

“That my car buying experience was divinely guided by you, Goddess, and that you are always watching over and protecting me.”

Absolutely, 100% correct, Dear. You travel under divine protection always. You even unconsciously named your car Enki, after its license plate. Did it take you long to realize that Enki is the Sumerian God of Magic and correspondent to your beloved Mercury, the ruler of Gemini?

“It didn’t dawn on me for quite a while, Goddess.”

All that matters is that you eventually realized it.

Now, back to your sulking.

Since we have determined that you have never been alone on this or any other journey in your life. It’s time to celebrate those other mortals who share the road with you.

“Oh, Goddess, that’s the thing I love most about the holidays and my tree. You see, all of the ornaments have meaning. They are all connected to the people in my life; current students, former students, family, friends, sorority sisters and work colleagues. Some are spirits now. Many of the living I haven’t seen in years. Still, I think of them as I hang the ornaments every year and send out a prayer of good will to each one and their family.”

That’s a lovely tradition and very powerful way to use your voice, Kathleen. You’d best get started. The daylight is fading and Longest Night is about to begin. There is no better time to be grateful for the light that others bring into our lives.

Reaching into the box of ornaments at the foot of the tree, I grab a box of stained glass bells. “Look Goddess, I bought these with Mummy many years ago!” I turned to show Freya the ornaments. She was gone! Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of blue-gray light.

I smiled and said, “Alexa, play ‘Holiday Favorites!”

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