“It’s a beautiful night and I’m stuck inside with writers block!”, I said in a huff of frustration.
I’d been staring at the fragments of paragraphs, the single line ideas, the random thoughts from which I needed to pull great wisdom in a matter of hours and nothing! Not one idea on how to begin much less tie it all together. My brain raced ahead far outpacing my stationary fingers, fingers that needed to be flying across the keys at, to quote my planetary Godfather, Mercury, “breakneck speed”, and get this article completed.
I had promised Linda Joy that I’d supply an article on Dark Goddesses for the October Issue of her Aspire Magazine. I thought it was a wonderful idea when we first discussed it a month ago.
Where to start? How can I drop the reader into the scene? This article has to be written, revised and edited by the end of the week! I thought I had more time! Let’s face it I’ve gotten used to Saturn and Chronos granting my requests to bend time, so I had no sense of urgency. Now, I’m afraid that even they couldn’t help me.
“I have to get away from this!” I pushed away from the computer and enacting a lesson I learned long ago from my singing teacher, Darrell Lauer. I decided to go for a drive. At the very least it would give me something different to look at for an hour or so.
Grabbing my wallet, a sweater, and my rosemary and lemongrass mosquito repellent, I headed out to my favorite little spot down by the Great South Bay.
As I pulled out of the driveway, I thought back to my undergraduate days. I had been having trouble with a song that should have been coming together easily and Mr. Lauer told me to take the music home and put it in a drawer for a while. I remember standing there with my mouth agape, as he went on the explain that sometimes the brain and body does its best processing away from the practice room. He was right. I began to recall all the times I passed on this lesson.
I gave thanks once again for the blessing of being his student even if only for a short while. “If it wasn’t for Mr. Lauer I wouldn’t be singing today.”, I thought to myself for the umpteenth time over the last 20 years.
What I learned from him about the voice, the body and vocal production, was invaluable to my recovery after my head and neck injury. When physical rehab and doctors got me as far as they could and told me my career was over, that I’d have to find something new to do with my life, it was the technique I learned from Mr. Lauer, exercises that my speech pathologist friends today are only just learning and think are new, that helped me regain the ability to sing without pain.
Don’t get me wrong. It was hard work. It took years to be pain free.
It was eleven years before I would even think of auditioning on a lark to see if I could survive the rehearsal schedule. I had no illusions about being the star of the show. Those opportunities would come later with more work.
Parking the car and walking over to the pier I saw the Full Hunter’s Moon for the first time. It dominated the sky over the bay. “That’s gotta be a supermoon.”, I said as I stepped onto the boardwalk.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep inhale of the brisk October air. I love the Autumn time. The smells the feel of the air, there’s a certain crispy freshness to it.
“Ah…”, I sighed.
What brings you to the bay, Daughter?
I spun around flailing my arms to keep my balance and not fall in the bay! “OMGoddess!”
The Battle Queen grabbed me and set me on my feet.
For someone who has an affinity with birds, you are the most ungainly flyer!
“Didn’t you ever hear the story of The Ugly Duckling?”
Ducklings are adorable. Did you hit your head on that post while you were spinning like a top?
“No, Mother. I didn’t.”
Then whatever are you rambling on about ugly ducklings for?
“It’s a human reference, Mother. One of my favorite stories. I’ll read it to you one day.”
“Humpf! I thought you were supposed to be writing a story about Dark Goddesses?”
“Yes, you’re correct and I’m experiencing writer’s block.”
Writer’s block? Writer’s Block! Am I to understand you are unable to write about the power of the Dark Goddess?
“Mother, please, stop shouting!”
I’m not shouting!
“Maybe not for the phantom hoards but I am still a human and my hearing is delicate.”
Delicate! Humpf! The woman who refers to herself as an Amazon, delicate?
“It’s a joke. Everybody laughs.”
Only those who don’t know you very well.
“Why are you here Mother?”
I asked you first, Daughter.
“I need to clear my head so I can write this article about the Dark Goddesses.”
Back to your writer’s block, are we?
“Yes, my writer’s block.”
Perhaps it’s not writer’s block but that the subject matter cuts too close to home.
“How do you mean?”
Oh, for Goddess sake, child! You are a Daughter of The Morrighan!
“Yes, Ma’am.”
Is it that you wish to remain anonymous?
“I do prefer to fly under the radar.”
A wise decision, considering your lack of flying skills.
“I’m afraid of heights!!!”
Oh stop! You know what your real problem is? You’re old!
“Old?! Compared to who?”
Old spirit! You’re an old spirit in this life and it’s weighing you down.
“At least I can still sing. And I’m an intuitive bird.”
Yes, you have the sparrow’s gift of song and the crow’s gift of foresight. This is the root of your problem.
“How is bird medicine my problem?”
It’s the combination of your intuition and your mercurial mind, not to mention your friendship with the Gods of time and being an old spirit.
“Wonderful. What else do you have to tell me Mother?”
Well, now that you mention it. You’ve been spending too much time in The Crone incarnation.
“I am in the crone years, My Queen.”
Nonsense, it’s meant in a nebulous metaphorical way. Stop taking it literally. You need renew your connection to The Maiden.
I’m not sure I was a maiden when I was a maiden.
My point exactly. Circumstances kept you from truly living the simple joys of maidenhood.
“So, I should to revisit Guenevere’s song from Camelot?”
No dear. You need to revisit your younger years and rediscover what made you happy! Where is your bliss?
“I’m a Daughter of The Morrighan not… not.. Aphrodite!”
I was suddenly blinded by an explosion of pink smoke!
Did I hear you call my name, Dear One?
“Aphrodite!” I coughed, waving the smoke away.
Sweetheart, are you alright dear. You know I love you like a daughter and I’ve been worried about you. Solving The Sexy Voice Hoax was terribly draining and I’m afraid fighting the hosts of bad voice advice may have done you in. A nice hot bath with some lavender and jasmine is just what you need!
“STOP!”, I shouted, my voice ringing out over the water.
She’s a battle maiden forged in the fire like well-tempered steel. Fatigue isn’t her problem.
“OK, OK, both of you.” I said. “I came out here for some peace so I could refresh and write my article and now it’s a family reunion. There may be something the two of you can help me with after all.
I was talking to Mercury about one of the battles of my youth the other day and it reminded me of a strange dream I had about a Halloween Witch who stirred a cauldron brew with a curvy silver sword.”
“Oh dear, this is worse than I thought!”, said Aphrodite.
The Morrighan rolled her eyes.
Are you telling us you had a dream about a woman who looked like a Halloween character and she had possession of a magical sword?
“Yes, Mother. And she used an unusual sword to stir the brew then we both drank it.”
And you don’t know who she was?
“No, no idea.”
Halloween characters and cauldron brew? Sorry, not my thing, Darling! I’ll leave you to it. That is, if you feel safe, Aphrodite said, eyeing The Morrighan.
“Yes, I’ll be fine, Aphrodite.”
With that she dissipated into a cloud of pink smoke.
Why must she do that! Does she not care about the environment? Air pollution? Pink Smoke, who does she think she is, Barbara Eden?
“I guess that makes you the ‘Evil Jeannie’, Mother.”, I said turning my attention to the moon.
Enough! I’m giving you five minutes of solitude here under the Full Hunter’s Moon then I want you to return home and complete your article for Aspire Magazine!
I saw the shadow of the crow fly across the face of the moon and knew she was gone. How could I explain it to her? One doesn’t force writing. One needs to be inspired.
As I stared out over the water watching the reflection of the moon fall on the waves a feeling of peace settled over me.
“It really is a beautiful night.”, I think to myself. “Such a blessing to be alive, to be here standing at the edge of the Great South Bay, safe from the cacophony of the outside world.”
“Safe”, I whisper.” That’s it! The Dark Goddess never plays it safe!”
I’m inspired! I run back to the car not wanting the idea to escape into the ether. The article is writing itself as I drive. Turning onto my street, the tune playing on Sirius XM’s Broadway Channel, Make Them Hear You from “Ragtime: The Musical”, breaks through my consciousness and I begin singing along, “Your sword can be a sermon or the power of the pen… “
I’ve fought the battle to regain my health. I’ve fought the battle to sing again.
I’ve reshaped my life, my career, my goals and dreams not because I wanted to but because I was called to in order to survive and make myself heard.
This is the theme of my article! The bottom line. The Dark Goddess is the perfect companion for those called to become their own champion, to thrive and refashion yourself into a weapon of greatness in times of uncertainty.
I jump out of the car and race toward the door eager to get started. Searching for my key, I look down and there on the ground in front of the door was a black crow feather. I can’t believe it! I bend down to pick it up. This is incredible! It’s a perfect, ethically shed, black crow feather. A gift from The Morrighan.
I lift my eyes to the moon.“Thank you, Mother.”, and cross the threshold.
To be continued…
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Are you curious to learn how the Goddesses are supporting you in your life? My Meet Your Goddess Guides Reading may be just the thing! In this private one on one reading you will discover the Goddesses showing up in your life and how to make the most of their encouragement over the next 12 months. Learn more here –>>Meet Your Goddess Guides Reading
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Intrigued by Aphrodite? Click this link to find out how she helped me solve –>> The Sexy Voice Hoax Interested in reading my Aspire Magazine Article, it’s posted on their blog. Click this link to read –>> Step Into Your Light with The Dark Goddesses
