A few weeks ago I was lucky to beat out the deep freeze and make a trip to NYC to see Beautiful: The Carole King Musical.
In the show, Carole’s songwriting agent tells her she’s a success because she’s a girl and she writes girl songs. While this is true, I believe her songs are universally relatable by both women and men. She writes simple lyrics filled with images of the joy of falling in love, pain of breaking up, feeling lonely, getting through tough times, and holding your head up high as you persevere. She touches the heart of the listener, reminds us we are not alone on the journey of life and that even when nothing seems to be happening on the outside something Beautiful is emerging just around the corner.
Life simply requires a change of perspective to see it. This is the crux of the story and the reason for the title, Beautiful. As “Carole” opens the show she talks about her own life and how when things don’t go the way you planned, life can still turn out to be beautiful. Just hearing her character say that made tears well up in my eyes. It’s such an elemental truth in my experience.
I’ve had plenty of times when my life didn’t take the turn I expected or hoped for. I’ve been turned down for jobs. I’ve been let go. I’ve been injured and had to fight to come back to salvage what I could of my singing career. I’ve had to start over from scratch in a new industry while struggling to make ends meet. I’ve been the rising star and the fizzled out super nova.
Still I keep going. You see, many of these situations were blessings in disguise. I lost my job and was able to work on my rehabilitation from injury. I was turned down for a promotion that I wanted and the job was eliminated a few months later. I didn’t get the part in a show I wanted but took on the supporting role offered and used the opportunity to shine which led to several lead roles. Like Carole King, my marriage broke up and while devastating at the time, was for the best as well.
Resilience, the ability to bounce back and rise through the major setbacks of life is a key skill to develop. I credit my entrepreneurial family, my background in the performing arts, and my spiritual center for adding to my resiliency, giving me coping skills and granting me persistence to succeed in all I do. Resilience is a skill that can be cultivated and applied to any area of your life.
Here are three simple practices to help raise your resiliency quotient.
- Lean on your friends. Having someone to confide in, bounce ideas off of, and help you see the way forward is essential.
- Remain hopeful. Believe in yourself. Remind yourself that set backs are temporary and sometimes necessary before a giant leap forward.
- Recall past success. Remember other times in your life when things were tough and you made it through!
During this time pull out your journal and write about your experiences. Write about your feelings and the people and events going on. Write down the questions you ask yourself and the suggestions others give you. You never know what creative projects are hiding underneath today’s disappointment or which memories of how you made it through may someday support and inspire someone else.
Then play some Carole King songs! Remember, Resilience is Beautiful!
Your story should include your strength as great woman!
I really love your simple practices steps- serendipitously, it is what I do too!
Synchronicity is amazing, isn’t it? It took me years to be curious when “this thing” didn’t work out, and to ask, “What’s next?” You are an inspiration, Kathleen. Keep walking your talk, and talk your walk.
Carole King rocks! Thanks for the help and suggestions.
Our resilience gives courage a chance to take us to places we would never have imagined we could go. Carol King’s “Tapestry” was my favorite album when it came out. I must have listened to it a thousand times. Truly, life lived with courageous intention gives us the inner strength to overcome challenges and live a beautiful life.
Thanks for sharing your inspiring story. These simple tips are things that anyone can so. It is true there is always something good to come out of any situation, sometimes it takes a while to find it, but it’s there.
Thank you Kathleen for sharing your experience. Resilience is beautiful. The human spirit is much stronger than anything that can happen to the mind/body. My Mom showed me this after her severe stroke, which left her partially paralyzed. Despite her challenges, she was able to change her perspective. She demonstrated strength, hope and faith in her final months of life. It was a beautiful time for me and still is. xx