“It’s OK, Little Tree! Don’t worry, you’ll be OK! You need the rain!”, I cried from my office window. I was deeply concerned about Little Tree. She had been planted in the hole left by the landscapers when they mercilessly chopped down my beloved eleven year old birch tree a month before.

As if it wasn’t trauma enough, coming home to see a gigantic hole where a beautiful and perfectly healthy, young tree once stood, a few days later they planted a new type of tree, I’m not even sure what kind it is. Poor thing, they just plopped her into the murder scene and left her to fight for her life in the heat of the Long Island summer. They didn’t soak the ground. They didn’t even come back to water her!

I’d been nursing her without much success since they dumped her in the crime scene. I still talk to her every day. I send her Reiki. I water her. I’ve even dug up the wood chips, so her roots would better receive the water, sending gallons into the soil for her. There is a spider that lives in my new tree. An amazingly creative and resourceful being, the spider, but that’s for another tale.

“It’s OK, Little Tree! Don’t be afraid!”, I called out as I closed the window on the sweeping wind. Not a rain drop in sight but I knew it was coming. I heard the wind whoosh round the house and watched the trees bend from the window. I thought of the Goddess, and said her name, “Oya”, as I heard the thunder in the distance.

Suddenly, the sky opened and a torrential downpour began. The rain was such that I couldn’t see out the window any longer but it was the howling of the wind that made me pause. The force of it bending the larger tree’s branches over almost to the ground.

“Why didn’t they cut those back?”, I thought to myself, “They killed my tree and it was half the size of those. They’re a real danger in this wind.”

“It really sounds like a tornado out there”, I thought, as I sank into my seat in front of the computer. Staring blankly at the screen, I chided myself, “Come on, ideas! Come on! I need to write my blog!”

Business is always slow in the summer, voice and biz coaching and music lessons always fall off when school’s out and theater work is in full swing. The tarot and oracle reading business doesn’t really pick up until late September. It’s the usual business cycle but for some reason I’m particularly down in the dumps this year. I have amazing things happening in my life and business but the blues have got me and I’m having trouble breaking free. I mean, I’m teaching in person and online, my Facebook group is growing, new interviews, speaking engagements, and right now all I want to do is curl up and feel sorry for myself.

Maybe it’s the weather. Maybe I’m just tired. I’ve been pushing myself very hard with all my creative projects. “Maybe I’m doing this all wrong”, I think to myself. The thoughts circling round in my head. “Does anyone even read blogs any more? Does anyone even open the emails I send? I don’t know because I’m afraid to check my statistics! Is any of this even making a difference?”

“Maybe it’s time to throw in the towel,” I sighed.

“Haven’t you ever heard that you don’t quit right before the miracle, Daughter.”

Oya! What are you? How did you? Of course, you brought the storm.”

Of course, you brought the storm, she says. Is that all have to say for yourself? Is that all you have to say to me, Daughter?

“Um.. hmm… well…”

Well, what Kathleen? Are you truly a changemaker inspired to empower people from all walks of life or do you want to take the easy road?

“It’s really been rather tough lately, Goddess.”

Yes, of course it has. Going after your dream is no small thing! It requires courage, determination, fortitude and brains! All of which you have. What you are experiencing right now now is the same feeling most of your clients have, self doubt resulting from a lack of situational confidence!

“What, Goddess?”

Situational confidence, Kathleen. It means that right now, in this situation, you are unsure of whether or not you can overcome the obstacle in front of you, yes?

“Yes, Goddess! I teach that all the time!”

Now let me go a bit further, Kathleen. You wonder whether your art, your calling, your creativity and at some level your innate self is powerful enough to have a lasting effect on the world. Free Your Voice…Transform Your Life is not a tag line for you. It is a proven fact based on your own life! Still, now, at a crucial point in the journey, you worry that your voice is not worthy, not set apart, not spun in the gold of social media the way it needs to be.

“Yes, Goddess, you are absolutely right!”

Of course you have these questions!

“I do? You mean it’s … normal?”

The best in any field, continually doubt themselves, Dear One. It is how they improve not only themselves, but their art, their work, and the world.

My purple-haired, nine life path daughter, your light is so strong, your commitment so deep. Welcome the doubts, bless the obstacles in your life for they have made you resilient in the face of having lost everything more than once.

“That is true… I think.”

“There is no time for despair, no place for self-pity… Like failure, chaos contains information that can lead to knowledge — even wisdom.” The great writer and artist Toni Morrison wrote those words, you would do well to study her writing and learn to see the world through different eyes.

“Yes, Goddess.”

In the meantime, Daughter, you must learn to become one with the storm. Float on the wind, adjust your timing to it’s whirl so you are not flung off course. I know you love theater analogies so think of it as if you were spotting a turn in a dance number! Allow the mighty wind to carry you over the mountains you see in front of you on that blank computer screen.

It’s a marathon, not a sprint! You know that, you grew up the child of entrepreneurs. You’re in it for the long haul. Don’t fixate on the negative. Stay in faith and you will ride out this storm and all others.

Take this advice and share it with your clients, your sisterhood circle of female entrepreneurs, and the other teachers, artists and writers who are your friends. They too have doubts. All changemakers have doubts!

“Changemaker? Me?”

Dear One, you call yourself an Alchemist! What is that title but a fancy word for changemaker?! Now breathe, Dear One! Teach them the invisible and soundless breath!

With that, Oya vanished. The wind calmed, the rain stopped, and the sun suddenly peeked through the curtains!

“Oh gosh… Little Tree!” I thought. I ran back to the window. Looking out, sure enough, I saw her. There she stood, no worse for wear than before the wind and rain had started. She had withstood the storm. We both had.

“Soundless breath, that’s it! That’s my blog topic! Thank you, Goddess!”
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If you like this, you will find more adventures with the Divine Voice Goddesses along with tips for daily voice care, DIY professional voice training techniques and metaphysical voicework featuring tarot and astrology on my blog at kathleengubitosi.com.